This letter is concerning _________.  I understand that in order to survive you had to do in your best interest.  The bottom line of what I’m trying to explain is that your best interest at the time in my life involved me believing ______.   Because of _____ I allowed us to dance in my living room until 4AM and my attachment to your ______ happened as a result of me believing in said ______. 

You, in turn, went home.  In doing so the magic was dissipated.  How unfortunate.  What this means is that the ice cream feedings, and the carrying across long hot distances, and the meaning that shone for a bright moment across your face delivered a resulting attachment that survived months of uncertainty, pain,  confusion and full on heart-ache.  Because what this is about is the complete and total Missing that took place.

The irony of the said Missing is that it created a very real, very obvious _____.  And what do you do with this?  Others come around, and you can’t advance because your arms are full with ____.  You want to write it in a poem, and explain it to people who are trying to navigate life, but unfortunately all that comes out is the most honest truth, one that explains that at the end of the day when the sun sets you just have _____.  And in that you really having a little bit of nothing.  Which is crazy.  And makes no sense.  Because if Picasso had his hands on this, or maybe Shakespeare, you would have a new advancement in human kind, something so beautiful that college kids would study it and thieves in the dark of the night would steal it for the black market where it would have more value than fair market itself.  Which is very helpful.  Because with us it has no value at all.  With us Dear ______ it is empty and stranded.  The only way you can sell this is to a world where things don’t really exist since that is what it is anyway.

Side note confession:  I envy those who get to experience something that can claim a label.  Because at least those people Made It.  At least at some point in their lives if ever questioned they can point back at ________ and say, with 100% confidence, “Oh Yes, I did experience this ______ and it was truly, honestly ______”.  For me, I mean us, I mean me(?) I have to say that I have lived and am living in _____ where things are not so black-and-white, where I feel like I think I know based on my intuition but where life shows me something different all together so that I’m not sure if I belong in general, like perhaps my ship passed by a long time ago and I just wasn’t paying attention….So anyway.  Yeah.  This is my truth. 

You must know at the end of the day that what this was was really ______ and really _______ and that nobody would ever be able to show you such ever again even if they had every opportunity and moment in time.  And for that all is lost, in boring moments and awkward pauses, in times of disconnect and misunderstanding, when you think to yourself that you don’t belong and how that other ______ made sense, you might just question yourself all together. 

   Much Love, Forever and Always,

Me