I think one of the issues from childhood is saved spaces.

When you’re a kid you’re just an innocent child.  You don’t know what to do with the thing.  The thing could be anything.  But always bigger than you.  Abuse.  A favorite movie.  A song.  A fight or conflict. You just experience these things then store them away.  They become stow-aways to your life and in some cases you don’t know it.  

This saved space always shows up.  An intense religious experience in your childhood inadvertently draws you to music with choral back up singers as an adult (or maybe that experience makes you repel such).  Sexual repressions become fetishes.  Somewhere in the midst of navigating life is the younger You, the little kid holding space for that experience that was experienced and felt intensely but never fully processed.  It shows up over and over and you are drawn or repelled but can never give it a name but yet it’s always present…holding space…