It’s amazing the power of The Pretty.  Let’s start with the basics:

1.  The Pretty “normally” means female

2.  The Pretty “normally” means young  (society translation: under 40, but preferably 18-25.  Honestly preferably 14-17 but that’s illegal in most states so we will pretend those desires don’t exist)

M’kay let’s get started

1.  The pretty means coveted.  Everybody wants one.  Like, Furbie circa 2002 or a Roomba or maybe the Hope Diamond.  If you have a gal who’s pretty it’s a reflection of your clout. You’ve done something right.  The adult equivalent of a gold star. You did it.  Pats and high fives.

2.  More money = More Pretty.  If you’re driving a Porche and you’re a heterosexual male the woman sitting next to you 1.  Likely has boobs. Nice boobs.  2.  A great hip/waist ratio symmetry 3.  A symetrical face too.

3.  Pretty and smart isn’t nearly as common as pretty and dumb.  Hey, don’t shoot the messenger. I’m just explaining everything.  Dumb and pretty works because pretty scores extra points and that overcomes the dumb, especially (oh who am I kidding) as long as she stays thin.  Pretty + thin = a winning combination.  These gals can whine more, can be more bitchy, can fuck one guy while sucking the dick of his best friend and we all laugh, because she’s so…pretty.  Look at that dress on her.  See her smile?? So pretty.  Because pretty is always smiling.  Pretty has been conditioned since birth that everybody likes it when she smiles. She’s learn to add some giggles with that smile too.  Oh how can we stay mad?!? It’s OK.  We’ll let it slide because we enjoy looking at your face.  Just always be pretty honey.

4.  Pretty learns the method of response early on.  There’s powers in those peepers (let’s be honest if she had no eyes at all we would be frightened).  Pretty never has to worry somebody won’t do her bidding.  If she’s home alone and you’re out and about you won’t be out for long, assuming she wants you back home.  Not because you want to really be home, but because The Pretty is requesting it and lest you forget she has always gotten what she wanted her entire life based on those looks. Besides, it tears you apart thinking of losing something so beautiful, right?? I mean, she may become someone else’s–the worst kind of fear. You’ve been trying since kindergarten to land this kind of lady, looks strictly being the forerunner. And you got her.  You’re not letting her go.  Ever watch Dateline?? Guys murder for this.

5. Cycles.  Eventually The Pretty wears thin.  Too many years of bitching.  Too much neediness (side note:  The Pretty are typically ultra needy as everything about them has been built on their looks,a shaky   foundation). The nice thing is that since everything was primarily based on looks you can just trade her in for another Pretty, like trading in an old car for a new one.  Hopefully you’ve kept your looks too (but especially your finances) in shape as The Pretty almost always has a premium.  You did?? Good.  You’re in luck.  As there is always a well of The Pretty ready and waiting to use her looks to take things to the next level.  Oh, you thought it was all about you? No my friend, this superficial game works both ways and that means many times the player gets played. Welcome to Earth, the planet of illusions where everyone is easily seduced.  Especially if she’s pretty.