There’s a passage of time in your life when you become sober to the demon of time and the luster of youth is acknowledged as fading.  

This is when you realize the idealizations of youth that you thought were a given may not happen.  This is when the barnacles of life start to slow your ship down.  You are less certain.  The fantasy has been snuffed out.  Reality has set in.

Truth be told this is when the proverbial boys become men.  This is the Moment.  When you step up to the plate and embrace your role as true creator on your own hero’s journey.  Yet the ability to correct and adjust this journey to an alignment with life and the stark realities of who you are is not taught in school and certainly not post school in the form of social standards.  How the fuck are we supposed to handle this?? We are not properly equipped.  Out the starting gates we thus are disadvantaged.

I don’t have an answer at this time.  I’m in the middle of this myself right now.  What I do know is this:  shrinking back into what “is” isn’t the answer.  The Next must be forged.  The blind ideology that ironically was your guide in youth is now requiring you to replace them with your own vision and quest and desires.  You must have the guts to move forward in the acquired lessons of who you are as an individual in the face of the world.  This is actually the most significant part of this journey:  the ability to break out of the mold and past transgressions and mistakes and hurts and say with conviction: “this is who I am”.