I’ve been thinking a lot over the past few months about the concept of cycles.  Cycles are great because they are a form of rebirth.  As an Eagle/Phoenix Scorpio I am a big fan of re-birth and starting over again with a clean slate.  It’s the heart of who I am as a person.  It’s the definition of my entire life. 

I’ve lived in the town I’ve lived in for almost 10 years.  This is the longest I have ever lived in a city.  I have lived in this city during a  time in my life from mid 20s into mid 30s.  This is a big time of growth and change:  you go through your Saturn return during this era, you move out of your ‘extended adolescence’ into ‘adulthood’.  This defines what I have been through.  The town I am in for the past decade is like a playground for adults.  It has been a perfect setting for this cycle of life:  a fishbowl of fun times.  And I have in so many ways ‘done it all’.  I dove into this town, having moved here and not known anyone.  I remember the early days, sitting in my apartment over a basement karaoke bar, not know how to make friends. But I made friends.  I moved into different social circles.  I did all the things: new restaurant openings, breweries, all the hot new spots; the natural pools; the parks and trails, the local food scene, the business networking stuff, concerts, art showings.  I did charity events over the years for habitat, the humane society, the salvation army.  I raised money for the library and met with city council members to help re-store their hours that were cut.  I voted in elections. I played social sports. I did various local festivals.  I worked out at the various work out places.  I went to fine art events and listened to speakers who came to town.  I built a house.  I worked a few different jobs.

It’s come to a point where the cards are all on the table.  To use another analogy it’s like a dryer that has stopped tumbling and spinning:  the end of a cycle.  I feel like I’ve outgrown this town.  It doesn’t mean that ‘a person’ can’t continue to live here and grow here.  It just means for me the whole thing is played out.

It’s interesting to be a self aware person.  It’s actually difficult.  Because you are sensitive to truths.  It would be easier to be ignorant. 

I know what I want:  a want a city that is bigger.  That has more pockets to explore.  That isn’t a fishbowl.  That you can find somebody that’s quality dating material, that hasn’t fucked someone you know, or had their dick sucked by someone you know.  That would be great.  A city that isn’t myopic in mindset but complex.  A city that has diversity.  More than one airport.  A true ethnic food scene. 

This is a large world, with a lot of people in it.  And life is short.